“There is a terrible darkness that resides within the soul of humanity. One which encapsulates us all and casts great shadows wherever we roam, both explosively outward and inward- here as well as there – it speaks to those who learn its movements- it mocks us so for it cannot be hurt. If it is mined from the soul in chunks and destroyed- it will leak out the eyes as red as blood to soak our bodies.”
1________There is a common difficulty among those who create, among those who delve into fields of the mind and attempt from those to manifest physical natures. It is something which is difficult to relate precisely the nature of how it changes us, and yet at the same time we can see so clearly upon the faces of others. It is the shadow inside the brain cast from a light bulb even deeper- one which attempts to bring light to your soul- and happiness to your world- to allow itself to be shone through your eyes and the instruments of your creation whatever they may be. But it cannot do so without casting shadow, for it is the very nature of light which has created the dark- the very casting of’t which has placed shadows on the inside of your eyes. At times it encapsulates our very existence, whilst others we seem to shine. Both within and outside of ourselves though it may be light or dark we cast- we may always see light inside of us- others can clearly see the reality as well. We exist as phantoms in this state of being, ones who fail far too often at looking within mirrors to analyze themselves, to tell their own stories, who eat so well they’ve become what they consumed to the point of non-recognition, an inability to walk around- their purpose becomes at this point to be consumed- so they become the food best fit for those who see them. To be devoured in such a way is rooted within the shadows cast inside of our minds, to be destroyed by our desires to be viewed and consumed is the ultimate outcome. Whereas otherwise ourselves may only be presently capable of being torn apart by a few, in this moment of becoming that which we are not we suddenly find that we are very pallet-able to all. To the point where it may become trivial, or perhaps- more accurately- this triviality was within us the whole time. It is only a blindfold that we wear which can disguise the truth that we have always seen what our disfigured forms appear under any microscope.
2________It sickens me so to say that I know all too well this feeling of preparing myself as some suicidal chef- the seasoning and cooking of my flesh. It is disturbing of course, but often times when creating we cannot separate our desires of adulation, of adoration- with our innate desires to move towards what pleases our own beings on a personal level. It is natural that some find themselves in this position from the beginning- but it is unnatural that only after immense failure would one be put into such a spot. It is hard from this point to tell you, anyone who is becoming this suicidal chef, to continue this goal of making thyself so massively pallet able- but it is in the end for the best, right?
3________Well, that is where I depart from my descriptions of what is, to what is to be done. And what is to be done is what is desired for you to do- and I do say this from a very firm grasp that what you could desire to do could be rather harmful. But if you do not ignore your natural inclinations of creation, if you do not let failure seep into your work in some sense- if you do not consider those who view your creations- you could end up very well portraying exactly what it is you’ve wanted to do better than you ever had before. And maybe- this turns out to be a fruitless exercise, maybe when you are on your own- and not considering others you will find yourself to be unable to create something which is capable of being your own- which is capable of bringing you joy. And if this is the case, you may ignore my advice- but if you find in these moments of drawing within a vacuum of your own conscious desires- a very intense pleasure- might I plead you take it to heart, that you may work on it in the future- in a way more passionate than you were previously capable of delivering – because if you do not pursue this pleasure that you have brought yourself through creation – ironically enough you may be unable to deliver that pleasure to those who would be successful able to see through your eyes. For you see, I do firmly believe it is the case that when attempting to appeal to most everyone- even if it may make you the happiest, you hinder your ability to appeal greater to fewer people. Which is to say that whilst the overall enjoyment of your piece may remain the same, the number of people who enjoy it will most certainly change- and when it is fewer that enjoy it greater, you leave a greater impact upon those people- an impact which they may reciprocate to you that may bring you even greater joy than having yourself cooked for the whole world to consume.
4________So in short, I simply say to you this- as one who creates do not cook thyself with the thoughts of being consumed by all- but rather, attempt to cook yourself with the desire to become a favorite meal for a few. Perhaps not a life-changer, but one who can leave their mark upon another- this I believe should be the desire of one who wishes to bring about impact with art.
5________Quality, over quantity- this is what impact I believe is most desirable to leave. At least in this case….
Of course- that is just my opinion. – As weak as it sounds to leave it there, so I should.
With love, June- Of the Creative C*ult.